The Sound of Music by Dr Gregory House, MD
by Jazelle1996
Summary: Imagine Dr. Gregory House in The Sound of Music! These are the premiere compilation of his greatest hits! So, grab a coke, sit back and ENJOY THE SHOW!
1. My Favorite Things

**My Favorite Things – By Dr. Gregory House, M.D.**

Pizza and Chow Mein and pancakes-Macadamia;

SpongeBob and BlackAdder and Carmen Electr-ea;

Scotch in a tall glass and joy that jazz brings.

These are a few of my favorite things.

………………..…………….

A brown colored rat that I found in Stacy's attic;

Kicking the patient who swore he had cancer-pancreatic;

Soft, melodic strumming from my guitar strings.

These are a few of my favorite things.

………………………………

Vicodin and Morphine – oh, such a relief!

That mischievous Charlie Brown when he says 'Oh, good grief!';

Giving a stupid patient a shot that really stings.

These are a few of my favorite things!

………………..…………….

When the rat bites!

When Cuddy hides her funbags…

When I'm feeling sad,

I simply remember my favorite things

AND THEN I DON'T FEEL…………….SO SAD!


	2. I Am 49 Going on 50

**I am 49 going on 50**

HOUSE: You wait, little girl, in the conference room

To make my morning coffee.

You wait, little girl, on a bended knee

For me to ask you out…

CAMERON:Ask meeee out.

HOUSE: I am 49 going on 50.

Cameron, you're so naïve.

I told you once – can't say it again -

What do you have up your sleeve?

I am 49 going on 50.

You're way too young for me.

But I'll ask you out when I'm really desperate

Like, maybe when I'm Ninety-three.

Totally unprepared are you

To handle a man like me.

Chase is just the whimpish type.

You two would be so happy!

You need someone closer to your own age

And he's the perfect one.

I am 49 going on 50.

If not, there's always Wilson.

CAMERON:I am thirty going on thirty one -

I most certainly am not naïve!

Sure, Chase and I had sex that one time

But was I glad when I begged him to leave.

I am thirty going on thirty one

Not as innocent as OJ Simpson.

Wilson is too kind, Chase is too whimpy

Maybe I'll try Foreman.

Totally unprepared I am not

To handle a man like you.

I find you sexy, don't ask me why –

I think it's your eyes so blue.

Age makes no difference

Where love is concerned.

You may be 49 going on 50

But you've got a lot to learn!


	3. Lonely Doctor

**Lonely Doctor (sung to Lonely Goatherd)**

HOUSE:At PPTH there was a lonely Doctor

Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo

Snarky was the voice of the lonely Doctor

Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Patients admitted hated his guts

Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo

And those that liked him were completely nuts.

Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

TRIPLETS:O ho lay dee odl lee o, o ho lay dee odl ay

O ho lay dee odl lee o, lay dee odl lee o lay

HOUSE:At least three patients a day had vasculitis

Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo

WILSON:Two had seizures and four more were lying

Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

TRIPLETS:No hookers are free to use as he pleases

Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo

HOUSE: After many Scotches and three vicodin he sees

Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

One little girl in a pale pink coat – WERD!

Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo

CUDDY:She yodeled back to the lonely Doctor

Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

HOUSE:Soon her Mama with a gleaming gloat heard

Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo

What a disaster for a girl and the lonely Doctor

ALL:Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Ummm (ummm) . . .

Odl lay ee (odl lay ee)

Odl lay hee hee (odl lay hee hee)

Odl lay ee . . .

CUDDY:One little girl in a pale pink coat – WERD!

HOUSE:Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hoo hoo

CUDDY:Chased in the field that lonely Doctor.

HOUSE:Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

HOUSE:Soon her Mama with a gleaming gloat heard

Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hmm hmm

What a disaster for a girl and the lonely Doctor

Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

ALL:Cameron and Chase!

lay dee olay dee lee o . . .. . . yodeling . . .

Soon the duet will become a trio

HOUSE:Lay ee odl lay ee odl-ooooooooooooooo

ALL:Odl lay ee, old lay ee

Odl lay hee hee, odl lay ee

Odl lay odl lay, odl lay odl lee, odl lay odl lee

Odl lay odl lay odl lay

ALL:HOO!


	4. The Sound of a Heartbeat

**THE SOUND OF A HEARTBEAT**

Princeton is alive with the sound of a heartbeat

Another life saved from Vasculitis.

Their money fills my pockets AT the sound of their heartbeat.

Stevie can have food in his dish for another week.

My heart pounds at the rev of my motorcycle

Before I hit 60 on the speedometer.

_SPEEDOMETER_

My fingers want to fly like a concert pianist

Over the black and white keys

To strum my guitar like it's Stacy Warner

OH, Crap! Make that Angelina Jolie

To kiss her all night then make a plan to kill Brad Piiiiiiiiitt!

I go to PPTH when my pockets are empty

Ok, so I lied, I feel the urge to heal!

My soul will feel full with the sound of a heartbeat

And I'll cure once more!


	5. My Blue Eyes

-1**MY BLUE EYES ( SUNG WITH EDELWEISS)**

My blue eyes, my blue eyes.

I don't wear contact lenses.

Women can't resist them.

Aren't I one hot looking Doctor?

………………………….

Wilson's my best - Cuddy's my boss.

I tease and harass them daily.

…………………………..

My blue eyes, My blue eyes

Bless my blue eyes forever!


	6. The Cuckoo Song

-1THE GOODBYE SUNG (THE CUCKOO SONG)

TRIPLETS:

There's a gurney being rushed down the hall of PPTH

And the patient is comatose.  
And down the hall in her office Cuddy' screaming out loud,

"You can't go! It's 4 o'clock!"

House, Wilson, CameronCuckoo, cuckoo

TRIPLETS:

Regretfully House tells her Cuckoo, cuckoo  
"We're all going home nowCuckoo, cuckoo  
So we say goodbye.. Cuckoo!

. . . to you!"

CHASE:So long, farewell, a cheery good night.

I have a date - Dr. House, stop laughing!

FOREMAN:So long, farewell, I'll see you in the morn'.

My girl made dinner of roast beef and some corn.

CAMERON:So long, farewell, I've opened all your mail.

I'd like to stay and to me you can nail!

STACY:So long, farewell, I've left House once before.

I'd do it again but this time lock the door.

WILSON:I'm glad to go. I seriously need a drink.

House, let's go! It's your turn to pay, I think.HOUSE: My bottle's now empty - I need a new refill!

EVERYONE:Goodbye, Cuddy, don't stay here too late!

Goodbye………..goodbye………goodbye……..

READERS:Goodbye!


	7. Cure Ev'ry Patient

Thanks everyone for your reviews! I'm glad I could make y'all laugh. I may have one more coming over but I'm not quite sure, yet.

We have had a VERY rough summer with no House and I know everyone is looking forward to Sept 5th! Hang in there! It'll be here before you know it! Jazzy

**CURE EV'RY PATIENT (SUNG ALONG WITH CLIMB EV'RY MOUNTAIN)**

Cure ev'ry patient

Greg House is my name.

I love Infectious Diseases,

Tho Nephrology is my fame.

………………………………………..

Cure ev'ry patient

But they may just die.

I try to diagnose them

But they always lie.

……………………………………….

Lisa Cuddy – my boss,

The triplets work for me:

Cameron and Foreman

And Chase, the blonde Aussie.

……………………………………….

Cure ev'ry patient

Put them into bed.

Like PPTH's mascot

Coma Guy may as well be dead.

………………………………………..

Lisa Cuddy – my boss,

The triplets work for me:

Cameron and Foreman

And Chase, the blonde Aussie.

……………………………………….

Cure ev'ry patient –

OH! I forgot my best friend.

Dr. James Wilson, he

Will be til the very end.


	8. Dr House

Okay, everyone. This is the last one! If anyone has any ideas about another musical let me know and I'll see what I can do:o) Glad everyone liked them!

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Dr. House ( Sung to Maria by the Nuns )

CUDDY:

He's never into work on time and when he does he hides.

He always has to fight with me - I just let him win, and besides-

He does know what he's doing. Although some might disagree

We've been sued three times because of him.

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He's even hit a few patients just to make a point.

I even heard one time that he tried to steal a joint.

I hate to have to say it but I very firmly feel

House is not an asset to the hospital.

CAMERON:

I'd like to say a word in his behalf

House makes me…swoon.

WILSON:

How do you solve a problem like Dr. House?

How can you hide his stash of Vicodin?

Why did she hire a man like House?

I should shoot her right in the head.

STACY:

I know that he's angry for taking away his leg.

But it was my choice and Lisa did agree.

But he won't let us live it down

I feel like such a clown…

How can you give a man back his right leg?

EVERYONE: Oh, how do you solve a problem like Dr. House?

Maybe he could go find another job?

CHASE:

When I'm with him I'm confused

Out of focus and bemused

And I never know exactly where I am

And most times I just feel dumb.

He's as snarky as they come.

CAMERON:

House is gorgeous! I want to have his baby!

CUDDY:

He almost killed a patient

But turns out he found the cure.

He can even balance his red ball on his cane.

CAMERON: He is gentle!

CUDDY: He is wild!

WILSON: He's a riddle!

FOREMAN: He's a child!

CHASE: He's a headache!

CAMERON: He's a god!

VOGLER: He's a PAIN!

EVERYONE: How do you solve a problem like Dr. House?

How can you hide his stash of Vicodin?

What can you use to describe Dr. House?

A sour puss, downright jerk, an ass!

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Oh, how do you solve a problem like Dr. House?

The truth is - we love him just the way he is!


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